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Communication - Is an inside job
By Coach Colleen | September 14, 2007
Hi,
Have you ever wondered why someone doesn’t understand what you are saying? What you are saying is perfectly clear - to you.
In our society, when someone doesn’t understand us what do we often do - say the same thing only louder.
Well, what’s a person to do? There are several communication strategies and I’ll just give you one idea here.
First, breathe. This will help you not get angry.
Second, let go of being right for just a moment.
Third, realize that what you are saying and what the other person is hearing may be two very different things - and it’s not your fault - and it’s not the other person’s fault.
The reason for this is important. We all live in our own world created by all the input from out past, our caregivers, teachers, and culture. Everything we think, say and do gets filtered through our own inner world. Same for the other person. We are in our own unique bubbles. Just knowing this makes misunderstandings a little more understandable.
Fourth, be patient and try and get inside the other person’s bubble. Sometimes this is really easy; sometimes extremely hard. The importance of the other person in your life will dictate how much energy you are willing to spend.
How to do this? Ask questions then be quiet and let them answer. Often, we ask a question and proceed to give our answer. That often further frustrates the person you are trying to communicate with.
Fifth, listen with an open mind and heart. Remember you released the need for being right. Really listen to them; you will learn something of value.
Here’s the capper. You might not ever agree, but you will understand.
Give this a try…
Coach Colleen
Topics: Love |
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