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Find True Love: An Experiment in Giving
By Coach Colleen | December 1, 2008
Hi There,
You can stop counting! Thanksgiving Day is over in the US. Thank goodness I’m not being constantly reminded to be thankful for what I have… Hmmm….
Is Thanksgiving just a day or a way of being in the world or just a good practice to calm yourself down before you go to sleep?
Between now and the end of the year, I’m going to try a very real ‘giving thanks’ experiment. I am going to give away 50% of the income I receive from writing between now and the end of the year.
What! My mind is screaming at me!
Immediately after writing this, my mind was flooded with what if’s: What if I get a windfall? … What if I get book deal and a big advance? Is this blog I’m writing count and how do I define which income results from that? From my Hubpages writings? My Squidoo Lense writing? My website?
Word are how I communicate! ARG! This is becoming too hard!
Maybe I SHOULD just give 50% of everything!
Stop, I say to myself. Last night I decided to give 50% of the income I receive from coaching people in their resume process. I had established a rule – on the resume coaching-writing income. But, that’s not what I wrote down.
I had made a decision. Yet, today I questioned myself. Am I doing enough? Should I do more? Shouldn’t I be doing more? Am I being petty and stingy by only including the resume coaching-writing income?
The answer is NO.
My mind went a million places because in my first ‘written’ statement of my decision, I did not write what I had decided. I left it open ended – all my writing. I didn’t stay true to the principle of my experiment – what I was giving on. The result was confusion? And in this case confusion is a sign post saying ‘danger ahead.’
Here’s what I mean by that. Several years ago I wrote a children’s book and sent it to a few publishers. What if I unexpectedly receive a $40,000 cash advance for this book on December 31st?
Would I give away $20,000?
Being true to my original experiment, no. But, being true to the letter of what I wrote, yes I would be giving away $20,000.
What a dilemma
Giving out of obligation, guilt or regret helps others but is an emotionally hard way to give. Keeping that $20,000 and feeling guilty about it is no fun either.
What to do?
Clarifiy my experiment, stick to my original definition of giving. Where is the shame in sticking to your principles? There is none. My confusion stemmed from not writing down my original intention. I mistook this confusion as I’m not doing, giving enough.
Sound familiar?
The same thing holds for finding true love. Once you discover your irresistible definition of true love, you have a personal principle, a personal rule. Then, when you are tempted by a very engaging guy, a guy who makes you feel ever so special in the moment but doesn’t fit your personal principle of the love you deserve — your irresistible definition of true love — when you find yourself in this danger area of falling for the same type of guy as before based on your hormones and not your head and your heart, you will have your own personal ‘Doesn’t Fit’ signpost.
Have fun and move on
What to do? Have a fun time and move on. Avoid the heartache and lost time of a six month, 1 year or 5 years. Avoid trying to make it work.
Be loyal to your principles. Trust your irresistible definition of true love.
A leadership professor, Robert Parsons Crosby, says ‘clarity, clarity, clarity!’
I became clear about my personal definition of true love and I moved forward and found my true love within 3 months… after 40 years of searching.
I know that I need to be clear to my principle of giving on the resume coaching-writing income. Now that I am clear and I can move forward in confidence about my ‘giving’ decision.
Between now and the end of the year, I’m going to try a very real ‘giving thanks’ experiment. Between now and the end of this year, Dec. 31, 2007, I am going to give away 50% of the net income I receive from helping clients find their true self in resume form.
Be clear within yourself, believe in yourself and be your irresistible self.
Coach Colleen
The True Love Coach
At last a science based system that combines your thinking and feeling brains (thoughts and emotions) to attract YOUR true love.
Learn how to invoke the Law of Attraction with such clarity that nothing can keep you from finding true love.
p.s. If you want a resume that portrays your true love self, I can help.
Topics: Love |
December 21st, 2008 at 9:31 pm
I have finally held to my true love ’standards’ and rather than settle, I have chose to remain single for the last three years. It seems to have paid off- a friend of mine of seven years has expressed feelings and want to share the rest of our lives together. He is not a loser- like my types from the past. The catch? He is in the proccess of seperating from his wife. Why must there be hurdles and stress if it is a love that is meant to be? My friend is acting swiftly in preparing everyone involved, and has told me he is not interested in having an affair, so we have not. I feel like this relationship is mature and true and is my entire future in every area I have prayed to have happiness. I know some outsiders would say to run…. I just figured my prince charming would be free and single when I found him… Any advice?
December 23rd, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Hi,
I congratulate you on holding to your true love standards. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our life was free of roadblocks and ‘catches.’ But, it’s not so we keep going.
As for advice, I encourage you to stick to your standards and not be swayed by flattery. Take your time on this one and make sure this is truly what you want for your life.
I also thought about becoming involved with a friend of several years because they met one of the characteristics on my want list – singing love songs to me. I actually made the first ovations and was rejected. Now, looking back and what has transpired in this person’s life all I can say is thank goodness that it did not materialize. If it had, I wouldn’t have been available to meet my real true love.
One thing you said sticks out ‘I feel like this relationship … is my entire future in every area I have prayed to have happiness.’ My wish for you is that your happiness comes from within yourself and a relationship is the icing on the cake. No other person, no matter how wonderful, will bring you or me or anyone the lasting happiness of total true love. Be true to yourself first.
Does this help?