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Finding True Love & Keeping True Love Alive
By Coach Colleen | January 16, 2009
Hi There,
If you are someone who thinks they found their true love and lost him or her, you are not alone.
Keeping love alive is at times a struggle. How do you do it?
Well, one way is to look at the patterns you have established as a couple. You could even call those patterns ruts.
Also, look at what was happening when you first fell in love. Are they the same? I’ve noticed that you can become focused on taking care of each other that you become a burden on each other.
I’m sure you’ve heard of the situation where the woman feels lonely because the man is always working. The man says ‘I’m just trying to provide a good life for you. That’s my job. Do you think I like working so hard. I’m doing it for you and the kids.’ The woman retorts ‘All I want is you as a real part of our lives. I gave up my career to have our family. You act like you love your work more than your family.’
Do you see the trap? A lot of people fall into that trap. It is one of society’s norms in many parts of the world.
What to do? First realize what’s happening. Name it without blaming each other. Believe me there is enough blame to go around.
Second, look at ways that you can each give some of your best energy to your relationship rather than to your outside responsibilities. Both of you will have to prioritize tasks and make a conscious choice to direct energy towards each other.
Now, neither of you will be perfect at this. So be patient and forgiving with each other.
Third, talk about how the situation is impacting you, not how the other can change or what the other is doing to make you feel bad. Use non-judgmental language, non-blaming language. Talk from your point of view.
Fouth, listen with the intention of understanding.
Fifth, celebrate by going on dates. Get a babysitter, go out and have some together time to renew and refresh your relationship. Do something you did when you were dating.
Now, don’t do it just once and think everything will be just fine. Keep doing it. Keep nuturning your relationship. You must or it will become stale.
You love is worth it.
Coach Colleen
Find true love in 4.5 minutes per day self-awareness system.
Topics: Love |
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