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Respecting True Love
By Coach Colleen | January 23, 2009
Hello,
I want to talk about my intention for yesterday and how it materialized. In one meeting, my opinion was transformed. I went in wanting to see the good in everyone rather than the ‘what’s wrong’ in everyone or ‘what’s in it for me.’ The meeting was amazing.
And, I am still wrestling with questions of discernment. It comes down to in this case two questions (1) ‘How do I know that I know that I am making the right decision?’ and (2) How can I respect my true love who might just disagree with my decision.
This is a dilemma that pops up in all relationships at some point. What are the guiding principles of your relationship. What are you joint values? What is the vision for your relationship?
The first question only I (and you) know what’s right for us. This is a very internal decisionmaking process. The second, however, can be somewhat cut and dry if you and your life partner have some guiding principles in place.
What do you hold dear? What is it that you can not compromise on and be in integrity with yourself. What is it that your partner can not compromise on and be in integrity with him/herself?
There is one stumbling block in this equation - what if what you each hold dear is different. Chances are that one of you will be more of a risk taker than the other. One of you will want to purchase risky stocks, the other will want a solid mix of blue chip stocks and bonds. See the challenge?
Some of the decisions couple’s will have to make will be pretty easy. Then some will be beyond difficult.
Here is where you might have to chose to support the principle of your partner rather than lose your partner. Or, you might chose to do what you want to do and accept the consequences.
As a member of a long-term couple, I’ve faced both the easy and the beyond difficult decisions. I can tell you that on the little decisions, I push. Right now I’m in the throws of a beyond huge principle based decision.
My commitment is to honor our jointly developed principles, no matter what I personally want to do. Is that hard? YES. And, I my relationship of 10 years is more important to me than any one decision. Does that mean I give in without long discussions and presenting my want in the best light possible. No, I am talking. We are talking. We are both listening too. Listening is so important.
The answer is yet to reveal itself. The interaction around coming to that answer is key in having a wonderfully loving and growing relationship.
Finding and Keeping True Love
Coach Colleen
Topics: Love |
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