Curious About Your Love Life?
By Coach Colleen | February 3, 2009
Hi There,
Are you as curious about your life and your love life as you are about the movie ‘The Curious Life of Benjamin Button?’
Most people spend more time watching movies and TV than watching their own lives.
If you were curious about your own life, what would you find out about yourself?
What would you write in your journal.
I invite you to keep a weekly journal for 3 months. It’s not too long and it’s long enough.
In this journal, tell a story in which you are the main character.
Tell about your journey to health, wealth, motherhood, to achieving a goal, to finding the love of your life. Be honest, this is not a Hollywood script, it is the true story of your life.
If you go back and read previous posts, you will get a glimse at my life. Of course, I’ve written in ‘you’ directed language, but it is written from my experience.
Your life is worth writing about. You are worth writing about. You are far more interesting than Desperate House Wives. That show may be more entertaining in the moment, but your life will stand the test of time.
Coach Colleen
If you are curious about what is in your unconscious that keeps you from finding and keeping true love, discover your irresistible definition of true love and unleash your inner irresistibility and find true love.
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True Love: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life
By Coach Colleen | January 30, 2009
Hi,
There have been many variations of the phrase: Change your thinking, change your life.
The latest is from Wayne Dwyer and his new book Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.
Here’s the deal - it’s all the same. My Total True Love System is based on the same concept with one very big twist.
The twist is that the system is a tool to achieve a change in your thinking, a change in your thoughts in one specific area - finding your true love.
Read all the theory book you can and then get the right tool. It’s like reading about how to build a bird house. The theory is that you use a bird house pattern to layout the pieces and assemble the pieces together.
But executing that theory is sometimes a challenge. You need the right tool. If you are going to screw the pieces together, a hammer is not the right tool. You need a screwdriver.
Having the right tool can make or break your success.
Having the right tool can be the difference between toiling and joyful building.
Having the right tool alleviates unnecessary frustration.
Over the years of trying to do it myself, I’ve learned to get the right tool. Now, do I always do that. Actually the answer to that question is yes. Sometimes, however, I suffer through thinking I don’t need that, it’s too expensive, or I can make do on my own.
Or, here’s a good one for me - I should be able to do this on my own. Ultimately, I buy the right size screwdriver.
Coach Colleen
Offering the right tool for changing your thoughts… and finding true love.
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Respecting True Love
By Coach Colleen | January 23, 2009
Hello,
I want to talk about my intention for yesterday and how it materialized. In one meeting, my opinion was transformed. I went in wanting to see the good in everyone rather than the ‘what’s wrong’ in everyone or ‘what’s in it for me.’ The meeting was amazing.
And, I am still wrestling with questions of discernment. It comes down to in this case two questions (1) ‘How do I know that I know that I am making the right decision?’ and (2) How can I respect my true love who might just disagree with my decision.
This is a dilemma that pops up in all relationships at some point. What are the guiding principles of your relationship. What are you joint values? What is the vision for your relationship?
The first question only I (and you) know what’s right for us. This is a very internal decisionmaking process. The second, however, can be somewhat cut and dry if you and your life partner have some guiding principles in place.
What do you hold dear? What is it that you can not compromise on and be in integrity with yourself. What is it that your partner can not compromise on and be in integrity with him/herself?
There is one stumbling block in this equation - what if what you each hold dear is different. Chances are that one of you will be more of a risk taker than the other. One of you will want to purchase risky stocks, the other will want a solid mix of blue chip stocks and bonds. See the challenge?
Some of the decisions couple’s will have to make will be pretty easy. Then some will be beyond difficult.
Here is where you might have to chose to support the principle of your partner rather than lose your partner. Or, you might chose to do what you want to do and accept the consequences.
As a member of a long-term couple, I’ve faced both the easy and the beyond difficult decisions. I can tell you that on the little decisions, I push. Right now I’m in the throws of a beyond huge principle based decision.
My commitment is to honor our jointly developed principles, no matter what I personally want to do. Is that hard? YES. And, I my relationship of 10 years is more important to me than any one decision. Does that mean I give in without long discussions and presenting my want in the best light possible. No, I am talking. We are talking. We are both listening too. Listening is so important.
The answer is yet to reveal itself. The interaction around coming to that answer is key in having a wonderfully loving and growing relationship.
Finding and Keeping True Love
Coach Colleen
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What is your intention for your day?
By Coach Colleen | January 22, 2009
Good morning,
Well, it’s morning here in Seattle, Washington.
As I’m sitting here, I’m deciding on my intention for this day. How do I want to proceed as I write, have meetings, and interact with myself and others.
My intention for today is:
To be open and understanding, loving and non-judgmental. Willing to see beyond but not look without being discerning. And, always I want my life to be joyful. I want to be joy in the lives of others.
That is how I want to BE in the world today.
Do you ever consciously think of how you want to be in the world? I’d love to hear some of your ideas.
Coach Colleen
Consciously helping others be conscious as they find true love and Mr. or Ms. Right.
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Is Believing You Can Enough to Find True Love?
By Coach Colleen | January 21, 2009
Hi there,
Finding true love begins with believing that you CAN find true love. Right?
But is believing enough? It’s kind of like positive thinking? Yes, think positive, but is that enough?
The movie ‘The Secret’ talks about accepting, knowing and believing in what you want will bring it to you. Is that enough?
Many people ‘believe’ and do not experience the result they believed in. What’s up here?
We think we believe. We want to believe. But, we don’t really believe 100%.
What’s the answer to this dilemma?
Have you ever heard this saying? ‘Fake it till you make it.’
This is a great attitude for the young, but as we grow older some of us start to feel like imposters when we take this attitude.
As we mature, we experience setbacks and develop fears about rejection and shame about not being enough. Even those who appear confident have their pockets of fear.
What to do when you don’t quite believe you can find true love? For whatever reason. The reason is not the main issue. The main issue is your fear of being not good enough in some form or fashion.
The real you, your essential self, IS good enough. Now, you might have to develop some life skills to be successful, but that’s just a task.
Bridging the Gap between fear and confidence is a challenge we all have to face in our lives. Find a mentor, get a coach, take a class. Build your life skills, or update what you know.
Go with a beginner’s mind, not with a closed adult mind. This hard to do because we hold on tight to what we know because we feel secure. The funny thing is that times change and if we don’t we are the ones who get left behind in life and in love.
Begin bridging the gaps you feel in your life (where you are unhappy). Start small and work up. Don’t do them all at once.
And, if you do not believe in yourself right now, borrow my faith in you. I know that within the essence of your true self, you have the answers you are searching for. You just have to surrender into the gap and freefall believing that you can fly. And you can. You can fly through life as the eagle - majestic, proud, mating for life and building a permanent nest for your family.
Believing without action is not enough. But without beliveing, successful action is not sustainable.
Discover what makes your heart sing. Then, believe in that. Act on that.
Find True Love in 4 1/2 Minutes per Day - the time it takes to discover what makes your heart sing.
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Finding True Love & Keeping True Love Alive
By Coach Colleen | January 16, 2009
Hi There,
If you are someone who thinks they found their true love and lost him or her, you are not alone.
Keeping love alive is at times a struggle. How do you do it?
Well, one way is to look at the patterns you have established as a couple. You could even call those patterns ruts.
Also, look at what was happening when you first fell in love. Are they the same? I’ve noticed that you can become focused on taking care of each other that you become a burden on each other.
I’m sure you’ve heard of the situation where the woman feels lonely because the man is always working. The man says ‘I’m just trying to provide a good life for you. That’s my job. Do you think I like working so hard. I’m doing it for you and the kids.’ The woman retorts ‘All I want is you as a real part of our lives. I gave up my career to have our family. You act like you love your work more than your family.’
Do you see the trap? A lot of people fall into that trap. It is one of society’s norms in many parts of the world.
What to do? First realize what’s happening. Name it without blaming each other. Believe me there is enough blame to go around.
Second, look at ways that you can each give some of your best energy to your relationship rather than to your outside responsibilities. Both of you will have to prioritize tasks and make a conscious choice to direct energy towards each other.
Now, neither of you will be perfect at this. So be patient and forgiving with each other.
Third, talk about how the situation is impacting you, not how the other can change or what the other is doing to make you feel bad. Use non-judgmental language, non-blaming language. Talk from your point of view.
Fouth, listen with the intention of understanding.
Fifth, celebrate by going on dates. Get a babysitter, go out and have some together time to renew and refresh your relationship. Do something you did when you were dating.
Now, don’t do it just once and think everything will be just fine. Keep doing it. Keep nuturning your relationship. You must or it will become stale.
You love is worth it.
Coach Colleen
Find true love in 4.5 minutes per day self-awareness system.
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Find True Love in the Blink of an Eye
By Coach Colleen | January 14, 2009
Hi,
Can you go from start to finish in the blink of an eye? That’s called love at first sight.
The question is “Is there even such thing as love at first site?”
What do you think?
My take is there is attraction at first site. Aren’t hormones great!
True love can grow out of this hormonal attraction if you water and nuture it’s growth. And, if the soil is right.
Last year I added some new top soil to my garden. I was in love with the rich dark look of the new soil. As I mixed it in I envisioned the huge tomatoes and cucumbers that I would be harvesting in just a few months. I could almost taste my fresh Greek salad.
My cucumber plants molded and only produced about 5 cucumbers from 6 plants. The tomatoes grew a lot of leaves, but the fruit was slow in coming and I had to throw out a lot of green tomatoes.
The raw material - the soil - was not the right mix to begin with. I didn’t look beyond label to see if it was what my existing garden soil needed. Clearly, in hindsight, it was not. I went with my infatuation and need to be done and move on to planting and harvesting. My mental harvest was a great future trip.
Sometimes, we future trip about what our life together will be like - even after the first date. Stop. It doesn’t help. It actually interfers with you getting to know the real person rather than your imagination.
Be in the moment. Believe me, I know it can be hard at times. This is mostly because we have trained ourselves to always be looking ahead and planning and forecasting. Our relationships are not the weather.
If you loook at the stastics on how ‘right’ the weather forecasters are, it’s not that great. Maybe not even as good as our 50% diviorce rate.
Live this moment.
Coach Colleen
Find True Love in 4 1/2 Minutes per day method. It really works.
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The Love You Are Attracting Is the Type of Love You DO NOT Want.
By Coach Colleen | January 13, 2009
Hi,
Does this sound crazy? Well, it sound like the opposite of what you might ‘think’ using your conscious mind. But, there is so much more.
Science tells us we use only a very small portion of your physical brain. Psychology tells us that most of our mind is unconcious to us.
And, yes you attract to you what you do not consciously desire, but with which you have unconsciously identified. Go back and read yesterday’s entry.
So, if you are unconscious of what you are identifying with, what do you do? Consciously identify with those things you do want and you will impact your subconscious mind.
Repeat the following often enough to reprogram you inner self.
I am worthy of true love.
I enthusiastically accept myself.
I expect life be on my side.
I see good everywhere.
I am looking forward to the warmth of my true love.
I recognize my union with all people including my true love.
I love myself as much as I will love my true love.
When you have doubts, repeat the above statements.
Here is a key to remember - It works on your subconscious even if you do not believe. It works faster if you do believe.
Thanks,
Coach Colleen
Find total true love by changing your subconscious thoughts.
accept expect and find true love.
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How to Find True Love: Does believing make it true?
By Coach Colleen | January 12, 2009
Hello,
I want to read you something from a book I’m reading:
Paradigms power perceptiona dn perceptions power emotions. Most emotions are responses to perception - what you think is true about a given situation. If your perception is false, then your emotional response to it will be false too. So, check your perceptions, and beyond that check the truthfullness of your paradims - what you believe. Just because you believe something firmly doesn’t make it true.
This is the basis of my 5 steps to finding true love. It goes on to say:
Be willing to reexamine what you believe. The more you live in the truth, the more your emotions will help you see clearly.
The total true love system which contains the 5 step program is a fun way to reexamination your beliefs and discover something new and revealing about yourself. It’s transformative.
Think on these things.
Coach Colleen
PS The book I’m reading is The Shack by Wm. Paul Young
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The Nature of Love
By Coach Colleen | January 9, 2009
Hello,
Here is a line from a book I received as a gift.
It is not the nature of love to force a relationship but it is the nature of love to open the way.
Wow, this says a lot about how many women are in relationship because we were taught to be. Many of us, and I’ve been guilty of this many times; try to ‘make it work.’ We women have been taught since birth to put our emotions aside to keep relationships going.
If you think about it, this type of behavior is a type of coercion where we are forcing a round peg in a square hole. The result is unhappiness for you and recognized or unrecognized unhappiness for your partner. No wonder divorce rates are so high and men (and women) have affairs.
When you are trying to decide if he “Is the One,” having to force yourself is a big red flag. Stop, look and listen to your inner self. You are smart and know the answer. The question is are you willing to trust yourself to know the answer.
Coach Colleen
The True Love Coach
Knowing the way to finding true love - ask a question of The True Love Coach
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